Dating someone with a child
But life had gotten busy, and for a few days I was swiping right on Coffee Meets Bagel without my normal due diligence. Both seemed nice, but I was having trouble keeping them...
We figured flashing lights and photo booths, prizes and pinball, loud noises and lots of other kids would be a good distraction from “Dad has a girlfriend,” which also means: “Mom and Dad are not getting back together.” I normally Internet stalk my online dating connections pretty thoroughly.
These are his kids; he created them, raised them and sees himself in their eyes.
Next in line to that kind of love is as good as first place to any other. While your input should always be asked for and considered, it’s not always feasible to make multiple stops.
Much like I don’t screen people for specific ethnicities when considering a relationship, I also don’t ask for a date of birth.
Granted, there are certain age brackets above and below my own that would likely warrant the immediate no-go in my books, but I generally take the “organic” approach to dating. I'm talking about kids: The unforeseen element of Millennial dating.
The math in putting 1 1 together is hard enough; it’s an equation we spend our whole lives trying to master until at last we form a solid pair. I met someone amazing, and at the same time, met his kids (also amazing). Now, some time later and armed with a better understanding, there are a few things I wish I’d known from the get-go that might have spared me some serious mental struggle: It sounds aggressive, as though I’m telling you that dating someone with kids will ensure you’re always treated second-rate, never coming first and always neglected in some aspect for preferential love to the young ones. The kids will always come first, yes, but if he’s a catch and you’re lucky, you’ll score second place.
When dining out with toddlers and teens, it’s not likely you’ll hear an echo when you suggest things like carpaccio or mushroom risotto for mealtime. If it’s a compromise you’re after, try planning ahead for meals that you can either make at home to modify for everyone’s tastes, or look into restaurants that cater to varying appetites.
There are varying dynamics in the land of “baby mamas.” Some ex-couples with kids were married and endured an ugly divorce to reach something of a shared-custody-with-the-occasional-civil-conversation situation.
This is a great spot in which to find yourself when looking for vacancies in someone’s heart.
Coming second to the greatest loves of someone’s life ain’t all that bad.